Doomsday is nigh! - read the sandwich placards marching along major US city sidewalks. (Paraphrasing the wording not the meaning.) On May 21, 2011, some believed, although most joked, that the rature was going to happen that Saturday at 6pm eastern time-ish. Obviously since I'm writing this, the world's over 2 billion Christians did not ascend the holy tractor beam into Jesus' orbiting starship. Everything is back to normal except for broke zealots that made the wrong bet with their bank accounts. Back to normal or is it?
Let's not talk religion and cryptic, archaic prophecy. Let's not speak of the ancient/future, mayan long-count and their cycical view of time. Their nonlinear Doomsday on 12/21/12, that we have little insight into because the Church had their books burned centuries ago was obviouslywrong yet we misunderstood it was a cyclicalcalendar at the time. (Believe as I do or die and all your goods, land, and culture will be forfiet, razed, or aquired in name of ordained justice.) Oops I'm rambling. Get used to it.
Let's get down to the meat of the science/tech-age armageddon, with a high chance of our own creation seeing genocide. The Zombie Apocalyse. From here on "zombie apocalypse" will become ZA to save on unneeded neuronal rapport. I will tell you my theories on this recent, possibly impending, fight for survival. I will teach you the skills you need to save yourself along with any you are responsible for. I don't claim to know the future, or everything about zombies, but I'd like to think I am always prepared to survive what external sources throw at me. Stick with me and you will be able to handle yourself as long as you don't become undead in the original pandemic. In which case if we meet, you will receive a greeting from my shovel. It would be too hard emotionally to feel remorse for your redeath, but know I would be of a routine to make a conscious effort to dispatch all as quickly and with the least movements possible.
CDC next! Don't forget, you must destroy the brains of zombies. Don't get lulled into wasting bullets on center-mass chest shots. In case the flesh eating starts before my next update, I will leave you with this fundamental zombie safety tip: A Head shot is a Dead shot. This tip will save your life. If you know their leaknesses you can exploit them.
Let's not talk religion and cryptic, archaic prophecy. Let's not speak of the ancient/future, mayan long-count and their cycical view of time. Their nonlinear Doomsday on 12/21/12, that we have little insight into because the Church had their books burned centuries ago was obviouslywrong yet we misunderstood it was a cyclicalcalendar at the time. (Believe as I do or die and all your goods, land, and culture will be forfiet, razed, or aquired in name of ordained justice.) Oops I'm rambling. Get used to it.
Let's get down to the meat of the science/tech-age armageddon, with a high chance of our own creation seeing genocide. The Zombie Apocalyse. From here on "zombie apocalypse" will become ZA to save on unneeded neuronal rapport. I will tell you my theories on this recent, possibly impending, fight for survival. I will teach you the skills you need to save yourself along with any you are responsible for. I don't claim to know the future, or everything about zombies, but I'd like to think I am always prepared to survive what external sources throw at me. Stick with me and you will be able to handle yourself as long as you don't become undead in the original pandemic. In which case if we meet, you will receive a greeting from my shovel. It would be too hard emotionally to feel remorse for your redeath, but know I would be of a routine to make a conscious effort to dispatch all as quickly and with the least movements possible.
CDC next! Don't forget, you must destroy the brains of zombies. Don't get lulled into wasting bullets on center-mass chest shots. In case the flesh eating starts before my next update, I will leave you with this fundamental zombie safety tip: A Head shot is a Dead shot. This tip will save your life. If you know their leaknesses you can exploit them.
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